Look Beyond The Personal Role You Attach To People In Your Life!
Updated: May 12, 2020
In the year 2019, I sensed a common wave of disappointment all through most of my clients with respect to their relationships. Be it their parents, partner, siblings, friends. I came to understand one basic misunderstanding that all of them were making. In fact, it is so common that we all go through it in our every-day life.
I realized how we assign personal roles to people around us. And our inability to look through that person beyond their personal role that we assign to them is what seeds soreness in us.
In the movie ‘Badhaai Ho’ - Ayushmann Khurrana assigns a role of ‘parents’ so personally towards his parents, that he is unable to look beyond that role until the end. The fact that his parents can also be ‘husband and wife’, ‘two individuals of opposite sex’ was so easily surpassed that when their sex life came in front of him, he was awkward, embarrassed, and ashamed.
Often we end up assigning such personal roles to our relations and forget to look beyond them. Your partner is not just your partner but also a son/daughter, brother/sister, granddaughter/grandson, etc. We all perform so many duties towards our relations then why do we forget everyone else is somewhere involved in the same process.
Sometimes it is not about priorities but about responsibilities. Be flexible. Understand the people around you as more than the personal role you assign to them and see your relationship growing beautifully.
When a client of mine applied this to his life, he told me how he was able to forgive his parents for being ignorant and abusive (mentally and physically) through his childhood. As he could now see them beyond their role of parents - as two individuals who made mistakes as they were entering into parenthood for the first time. They are not born parents.
Nevertheless, forgiving them didn’t change their relation, but it did bring about a sense of peace inside of him.
Peace above love? You decide.